Too Long, Much, Much Too Long

here I am.  Its been a few months and sadly I have fallen off my mat and though I have visited it a few times here and there, I have neglicted it.  It wasn't on purpose really, life happened and well, other things took precedent. 

I'm going to get back on it tomorrow.  I swear.

Good news is that life is started to feel much more grounded.  I don't feel so scared about what is going to happen next and I feel at peace with how things are at the present time.  I've made a lot of strides as far as my health, I'm working out EVERYDAY!  I know that sounds crazy about I have just been doing extreme interval training every day for 30 min in the morning and on every other day in the afternoon I throw in 45 min of cardio at the local gym.  I have begun feeling much better, less stressed and heres the shocker....I gave up my greatest addiction, are you ready??? CAFFEINE!!!!

I know you think I'm nuts, but its been nearly two weeks now and I feel amazing about it, I sleep better, I'm less anxious and I feel in control of something.  (That last part is so important to me, only a few weeks ago I was feeling very depressed, overwhelmed, I needed to feel control in a healthy way and so BAM! I quit a very nasty, and expensive addiction. Ha!)

So my posts have been well, small and spaced out for sure, but you'll be hearing more from me real soon.  I'm feeling the need to do some real emotional purging on here.  Life is hard, no matter how perfect if seems from the outside, our minds, insecurities, and other influences can really drag us down.  And honestly, its a battle sometimes, so I'll share some of my tips and I would love to hear other peoples tips as well.

Much Love
xoxo

Guru, Guru, Guru, Where Are You?

I have often sought out people in my life that ignite spark in me, or have seen inside me a potential that I hadn't thought possible.  I have searched and gotten lost many times for it seems so many people are unreliable and inconsistent, and unwilling to go the lengths of the earth with me. 

Recently I have again been thinking I need to find someone I can talk to someone who only offers positivity and has a great outlook on life.  I have been lucky to fall upon my yoga instructor, "J", who is amazing and I feel unbelievably blessed to have her in my life, but she is not my guru.  I realize I have had this wonderful friend for 20+ years, who knows everything about me and is always honest, even when it hurts and I love her to pieces, but she is not my guru either.  I have been looking hard these last few weeks and I have noticed how many good people are in my life, especially my partner, Red, she's more of a person and I could hope to be.  She has given me more than I have ever asked for, unconditional love and wholesome support.  But even though she is one of the very reasons I want to be at my absolute best, she is not my guru.

This ^ is my guru.

My daughter, Z, she is my guru.  I never had to look much further than in my own home. at 32 1/2" and a mere 23 lbs. she is larger than life.  If anyone has taught me anything about life, and about standing up, it has been her.  My story isn't so usual, it was her that enabled me to come out of the dreary straight closet.  I wanted to do right by her, and that meant following my own dharma.  Making changes isn't an easy task, but I am fortunate to have so much visual motivation.  I guess I'm the typical mother; I believe everything she does is absolutely amazing.  She is constantly teaching me about patience, play, love, laughter and responsibility.  I guess you could say I birthed my guru. (<---creepy, maybe; true, yes).

Bottom line is I realized this week that I don't have to search outside of myself or even outside of the walls of my home to find the most profound spiritual teachings.  Every day I am graced with breath and my daughters smile and my partners love and this in itself is lesson.  Life is what you make of it.  Love is what you make of it.  Neither are easy tasks to undertake, but neither are worth never experiencing. 

much love

xoxo

Off And Running

I started the new year on my mat.  And it felt wonderful!  But now I have a horrible head cold; the worst cold I've had in years and our whole family has it.  Awesome.  So since all this congestion is blocking any sort of deep thoughts from happening I'm going to post a video today in hopes that tomorrow I am able to actual share something of value.

So this chick may be offensivc, but if ya know me well, I curse like a sailor (only in front of appropriately aged individuals I assure you), but seeing as how that is one of my New Years resolutions, I figure people like this can curse instead :)

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/0i_5YBnQdac" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Hope you got a laugh!

Namaste!

There's A First Time For Everything



 I have often considered starting a blog, but then felt like "who on Earth would want to read anything I wrote?" or "are my thoughts worth sharing?”  Recently I decided to stop thinking so much about it and just do it.  The New Year starts tonight at midnight and it’s about damn time I do all the things I want to do.  So if that means writing meaningless and sometimes superficial blogs about me, hell, why not?  No, but really, they won't all be meaningless (I hope).

I want to start this New Year right this time.  I've only been practicing yoga for about 5 months and believe me I know, that is a very short amount of time to start considering myself a yogi.  But that is the most amazing thing about yoga, how quickly it can transform your being.  I've begun making conscience decisions regarding my character and I've become more aware of the powerful being within us all.  I'll be honest though, there are still days that the peace sign isn't the only hand sign I wave around.  But yoga isn't about always being perfect, or at least I hope not because I'd be way wrong.  I find yoga is about being content in who I am but always reaching towards my potential.  So this year, 2012, is going to be about plugging into my truest self, and accessing my strengths. I'll share with you things you probably won't always care about, things that are so personal and maybe, just maybe you could relate to.  Mostly I hope that in my quirky and sometimes 'colorful' posts you will find your own inspiration to keep moving forward, to "stand up" as Krishna would say.

So Happy New Year’s Eve y'all!  May you all be able to move on towards a brighter tomorrow and let go of all the negative energies of 2011 because “we cannot see the sun if we are standing beneath a rain cloud”. 

Much love
xo