Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Guru, Guru, Guru, Where Are You?

I have often sought out people in my life that ignite spark in me, or have seen inside me a potential that I hadn't thought possible.  I have searched and gotten lost many times for it seems so many people are unreliable and inconsistent, and unwilling to go the lengths of the earth with me. 

Recently I have again been thinking I need to find someone I can talk to someone who only offers positivity and has a great outlook on life.  I have been lucky to fall upon my yoga instructor, "J", who is amazing and I feel unbelievably blessed to have her in my life, but she is not my guru.  I realize I have had this wonderful friend for 20+ years, who knows everything about me and is always honest, even when it hurts and I love her to pieces, but she is not my guru either.  I have been looking hard these last few weeks and I have noticed how many good people are in my life, especially my partner, Red, she's more of a person and I could hope to be.  She has given me more than I have ever asked for, unconditional love and wholesome support.  But even though she is one of the very reasons I want to be at my absolute best, she is not my guru.

This ^ is my guru.

My daughter, Z, she is my guru.  I never had to look much further than in my own home. at 32 1/2" and a mere 23 lbs. she is larger than life.  If anyone has taught me anything about life, and about standing up, it has been her.  My story isn't so usual, it was her that enabled me to come out of the dreary straight closet.  I wanted to do right by her, and that meant following my own dharma.  Making changes isn't an easy task, but I am fortunate to have so much visual motivation.  I guess I'm the typical mother; I believe everything she does is absolutely amazing.  She is constantly teaching me about patience, play, love, laughter and responsibility.  I guess you could say I birthed my guru. (<---creepy, maybe; true, yes).

Bottom line is I realized this week that I don't have to search outside of myself or even outside of the walls of my home to find the most profound spiritual teachings.  Every day I am graced with breath and my daughters smile and my partners love and this in itself is lesson.  Life is what you make of it.  Love is what you make of it.  Neither are easy tasks to undertake, but neither are worth never experiencing. 

much love

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